Aug 12, 2015

Strangers with memory, thank you.

Im missing all those people,
Yang pernah datang dan mewarnai hidup ini walau sekejap cuma.


Im missing all of them.
Dulu kita rapat, sangat rapat.
Sekarang kita cuma orang-orang asing yang saling tidak kenal antara satu sama lain.

Betul, orang kata, dalam hidup ni, akan ada orang-orang yang singgah sekejap dan mewarnai kanvas hidup kita dengan warna warni, terkadang gembira, terkadang sedih, terkadang benci.

Faa ada ramai kawan. Sangat ramai. Tapi yang betul-betul rapat , boleh kira. Entahlah. Dalam hati terfikir tiga orang yang pernah hadir dalam hidup.

Pertama, vp , the one who was one of  very precious person for me..with all of the promises and so on. I ended it up with hatred which actually i didnt hate at all.
We were not meant to be. So i hope u will be doing fine, and dont worry, fate will fares me well. Thank you, for been there even for a while.

Second, my partner, once has been my closest friend who knws every single thing about me. The one who was there when i was upset, the one who spent her time with me, day and night. The one who i searched for, the one who accompanied me during my hard time, when i was facing my life at the bottom with the fragile broken heart. The one that i believed, my sahabat dunia akhirat. And you too, im not hating u. If u think so seriously im not. I love you so much, sister. It just, i felt uncomfortable. If u wonder why i acted so, the truth is that i just hate it when i love u so much my dear, to the moon and back, and i realized u didnt love me as u do, and someone told me that u complained to them, like i bothered ur life with ur bestfriend,u hate me and u dont like to see me talking to ur bf, joking here and there. Im sorry, i felt like, ive been stabbed at my back so thats why i stopped contact ur bf and i even blocked u guys in social media. Its like, i hope i will never bother ur life if this is what u wanted. Its hard sister, its hard. To stop contact someone that we love as a sister is hard, and it is harder when no matter how much i tried to hate you but i cant. Love prevail, u know. Unfortunately, u have been hating me since then. I can see it. I couldn't accept all the faults, and i started to ignore, and not to believe, but I still love you, and i hope that we can forget all those bad things and everything will be back like the way we were and vp, but ..
my heart said that i didn't want it anymore. Let our story be a history , and i shall not remember it anymore, coz u cant count how much pain i had to bear.

I tried to act like i dont know a single thing, but the truth is, i know, i know everything, girl. They told me the truth, the unspoken truth.
So the truth hurts. Yes it does.

Another truth it, it will never happen. Both of you have ur own life. With new people and new story. You know what is more tragic? Thinking of u while u haven't think of me even for a second.
Who am I, yes i realized that tho.
Thank you very much for every single second that u spent for me. I appreciate it so much. May Allah grant the best for ur life, and im trying to forget everything, as im trying to forget all of u.

The third is another one.
To the world, she is the one who i spent most of my day by replying her whatsapp lol.
A stranger who came into my life, once was my bestfriend and now turn back to a stranger again. It was only because of our egos, and yeah, i tried once , to recover everything and it worked, a bit. And then she remained silent.. till now. Maybe it is the end of our story? Thank you dear for been there for me. May fate fares u well.

Im too tired to trust anymore. And i just can see them living happily with their life.

Here am i, trying to move on.
Let all the memories fade away, i dont wanna remember them anymore.
It just, i feel like im missing the old pieces of me, which i can't find it anymore.

The end of the story of me with all of  them. There will be another story of me with another new people in my life..

"Hiduplah arjuna beta, biarkan jasad yang luka, selama tuhanmu ada, takkan engkau tercela" - fynn jamal (arjuna mata)

Chip up, my dear self.
Again, manusia memang akan sentiasa  datang dan pergi.
Jangan pernah harap mereka akan berhenti dan bersama kita selama-lamanya.

Raikan pertemuan, redhakan perpisahan.

Once a best friend, now a stranger with memories.

So yes.
Mulakan hidup baru, dengan mereka yang akan hadir untuk warnai hidup kita.

I wonder who will come to my life after this. :)

And yes, whoever you are,
you're welcome.


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